I’m new to this whole blogging thing. Be gentle. I’ll skip the preamble, since I’m guessing that if you’re here, you already know who I am. If you don’t, hit pause and click the “ABOUT” button up there.
Back? Cool. So let me start by confessing that I’m not entirely sure why I’m doing this. Well, that’s a lie. I know exactly why I’m doing it. I’ve been craving an outlet for my thoughts, ramblings, and mostly useless discoveries. I speak best on paper, as the spoken word often fails me unless it’s scripted in advance. I’m just way funnier and more clever when I write. Remember that scene in The Mask with Jim Carrey when his character gets yelled at by his crotchety, old landlady, and as soon as she walks away and closes the door, he shoots her a nasty zinger, immediately followed by a remorseful “I should’ve said that…”? Right, well, that’s me basically all of the time. Most of my first dates end with me sitting in my car, laughing at all the quippy responses I didn’t come up with on the spot. And if they’re especially good, I’ll text them to the girl accompanied by a brief, but humble, apology for the delay in transmission. In a way, it’s actually kind of charming, but mostly weird. So, yeah, I’m single.
It’s not all bad. I’m really fucking good at writing Facebook statuses (statii?). My Bumble profile bio is kind of awesome. I engage in more online debates than I care to admit, but I generally tend to eviscerate my opponents with screen-melting burns. However, as someone who fancies himself a “writer”, I am painfully bad at actually sitting down and typing words onto a blank page. I had to go all the way to Munich and find a corner seat in the Starbucks near Victuals Market just to write this damn blog entry.
Okay, that was partially a joke - but not the part about being in Munich. Stay tuned! I’ll be writing about my travels soon. Anyway, if you’ve made it this far down, thanks for stopping by and giving this a shot! It most likely won’t change your life, but it might change your evening commute every now and then!